


I Hate It That I Love You (One Day)

by FrisianWanderer



Series: Two Parts Of The Same Heart [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-05-21 12:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6052207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrisianWanderer/pseuds/FrisianWanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke gets the most unique kind of soulmark when she turns 17, but even a life promised with true love isn't perfect.</p><p>Especially that Bellamy Blake seems to be a pain. <br/> </p><p>  <b>Soulmark AU</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I just love Soulmate AU's so much!
> 
> This Soulmate 'verse comes from True Love Is A Pain In My Ass by Miffy. I just really liked the marks and the rules and I figured it would be perfect for Bellarke!

When Clarke was younger, her parents told her that if you’re lucky, you get a soulmark.

A soulmark is an image that appears on your body the night before your 17th birthday. It tells you if you have a soulmate and can help you find him or her, because that person has the exact same image on the exact same spot.

So having a soulmark means that you have the chance of a life filled with the most sought after type of love on earth. True love.

No one really knows why or how people get the mark, but as a young girl Clarke asked her parents many times and they always told her the same story. A story the Greeks and Romans came up with as an explanation.

_‘Legends say that the Gods created the world and filled it with life. They filled our world with the most wonderful flowers and majestic animals and after some time they decided to create us. Humans. But the first humans didn’t look like how we look now. They had 4 arms, 4 legs and 4 eyes’_ Jake Griffin used to tell his daughter when he tucked her in _, ‘After a while the almighty Gods, that ruled the world from above, regretted their decision. The humans they had created were too strong so they tore them in half. That’s when soulmates arose. See, the first humans only had one soul, so when the Gods tore them in half, humans were doomed to live with half a soul and were condemned to spend their lives looking for the other half. So they could be complete again._  
_The Gods watched as the humans searched and searched and started to pity the ones who were unlucky and remained incomplete. They saw how unhappy and miserable those humans were and in an act of kindness they gave humans a soulmark. They gave the humans who are destined for true love a fair chance of finding it’_

It was a story Clarke loved hearing as a child, but that was all it was of course – a story, not something that was actually true or commonly believed to be correct.

What _is_ of common believe is that soulmarks are a blessing.

That’s also what Clarke believed until a stormy night, right before her 15th birthday, took the life of her mother, Abby Griffin. Abby was driving through a heavy storm on her way home from work, when she lost the control of her car and drove into a tree.

Clarke's parents had been soulmates and shared the same soulmark of 5 stars that decorated the skin behind their left ear. All of them had a different colour – the first one was a dark blue star and the stream ended just above their collarbone with a star in a soft blue tone. Just like every soulmark, it shimmered like a diamond when touched by sunlight.

As a child, when her mother or her father held Clarke tightly in their arms, Clarke loved to trail her fingers over the mark. The stars mesmerised Clarke– her parents' mark was gorgeous.

When she grew older, Clarke learned what their mark really meant. It was the symbol of the true love they shared – the unconditional and selfless love you share with your soulmate. All throughout her early teens Clarke wished she’d someday have what her parents had. Clarke counted the days until her 17th birthday.

But when death had taken her mother way before Abby's time and Jake turned into an alcoholic, Clarke saw the downside of true love. When you had it, you were deliriously happy and invincible, but when you lost it, even death was more merciful.

First, Clarke could handle herself and her dad’s problems. She may had lost her mother, her faith in love and, in a way, her father too, but she still had Wells Jaha, her best friend, and Lexa Green, her girlfriend. They were right there when she needed them and they reminded Clarke that life could one day be good again.

Clarke focused on school, on her volunteer job at the animal clinic and on the swimming team she was co-captain of with Lexa. All of that while dealing with her own grief and with her dad’s, who had a lot of ups and downs.

Sometimes Jake was able to put the bottle down for two days straight and be a real father to his daughter again, but most of the time he was getting drunk or already there. His addiction had cost him his job and put a strain on every relationship he had.

On the first anniversary of her mother’s death, Clarke got home from school at 5pm and found her father unconscious on their living room floor. Lying in a puddle of his own vomit, still holding his bottle of scotch like it was a lifeline.

Clarke thought he was dead.

She couldn’t tell you how she acted or what she did, everything seemed to happen in a blur, but 15 minutes later an ambulance arrived that took her dad to a hospital.

The Jaha’s suddenly appeared as well. Wells put his arm around his best friend and guided Clarke to their car and Thelonious, Wells’ dad and Clarke's godfather, drove them to their home.

Clarke was so in shock about finding her dad like that, that it took her a week before she could speaking again. Her first words were to Wells, saying ‘I thought I had lost him too’ and then she fell apart. Wells held her in his arms for hours.

Jake checked into rehab after he was discharged from the hospital and Clarke moved into the Jaha’s home permanently, she was still 15 after all.

A couple of days later Clarke turned 16, but she decided not to celebrate it. It would be her first birthday without either one of her parents present, so she honestly didn’t see a reason to celebrate. The Jaha’s were amazing though because they understood, but they wanted Clarke to have a nice day. Thelonious took them to dinner and Wells gave her an amazing nail polish set that Clarke wanted to have for forever.

Clarke visited her father more and more while he was in rehab and their relationship improved slowly during those visits. Their horrible year had done a lot to them individually, but also to the father-daughter relationship they shared. He had once been her best friend, her confidant, her protector, but now Jake was more a stranger than a parent to Clarke.

Jake was ashamed and disappointed in himself and apologised over and over again for choosing liquor over his daughter and for abandoning her when she needed him the most.

Clarke told her father that she was proud of him for checking himself into rehab and that she loved him more than anything, but she needed time before she could forgive him. Clarke had lost her mother and Jake's behaviour had almost cost Clarke her father. Finding him unconscious that day had broken the last piece of her heart that was still whole. She needed time and fulfilled promises before she could ever go back to the way they once were. Jake understood.

In the time that Jake was in rehab, Lexa and Wells both turned seventeen and got a soulmark.

Lexa woke up with a compass made of browns, blues and reds on her ankle. If Clarke and Lexa ever had held hope that they were one another’s soulmate, that mark took it all away. Lexa’s neighbour Costia Henderson had gotten the same mark on her ankle two years before.

It hurt Clarke when they broke up, but it wasn’t something chocolate chip ice-cream and a movie marathon with Wells couldn’t cure. Clarke had loved Lexa like everyone loves their first girl- or boyfriend, with everything she had and with a lot of passion, but at the end of the day Clarke was relieved.

Relieved there wasn’t a chance they were meant to be because after what she witnessed from her father, Clarke silently wished that she would wake up empty on the morning of her 17th birthday. That she would wake up as someone without a soulmate, or a Blank Soul as they called themselves, like Thelonious.

‘I can’t believe you want that’ Wells said to her one night, when Clarke confided in him about wanting to be Unmarked.

Wells was the child of two Blank Souls and had witnessed what a life without true love was like. Where Clarke's childhood may have been filled with laughter, love and a lightness overall, Wells’ good memories were overshadowed by screaming parents, his mother throwing everything in her arm’s reach at his dad and his father locking himself in his study so he wouldn’t have to spend a second more with his wife.

When they finally got divorced, it was a messy one and Wells only saw his mother once a month now.

Wells’ worst fear was waking up a Blank Soul on his 17th birthday, Clarke's was watching your mark disappear because your soulmate had died.

Her father still unconsciously touched the skin behind his ear and every time he felt the now empty skin, his eyes filled with tears.

No, Clarke didn’t want to be cursed like that.

‘You saw what losing a soulmate did to my dad. Compare that to your father – healthy, happy, a successful congressman.. I’d rather have that..’ Clarke replied, with her eyes on her pink polka dotted nails.

‘Really? You want a loveless life filled with anger, disappointed and heartbreak? That’s what my dad got..’ Wells said, sounding somewhat bitter.

‘That’s not true, he-‘ Clarke tried, but Wells cut her off.

‘Yes, I know.. My dad has happiness in his life, and it’s not loveless, even though he doesn’t have a soulmate’ Wells began, taking back his earlier words. ‘He loves us both with all he has and he has a great job, but I know that he’d cut off his arm if it meant he’d get a soulmate..’ Wells was silent for a moment, pondering over his next words. ‘But your parents had something so amazing.. They were _so_ happy, more happy then anyone I ever met.. Don’t you want that?’

Wells looked at Clarke with a pained expression and she knew he could see right through her.

Clarke shrugged and ignored the tear that rolled over her cheek. ‘Do I really want something that makes death merciful?’ Clarke said stubbornly. ‘I don’t know.. I just don’t want the pain that either one of our parents had to endure..’

‘But that’s _life_ , Clarke. Life is filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, pain and happiness.. I think it’s safe to say that it doesn’t matter if you’re Marked or a Blank Soul, your life will get all kinds of crap’

Clarke chuckled and wiped away the second tear that had escaped her. ‘I know..’

 

* * *

 

 

A couple of days before Jake got out of rehab, Wells turned seventeen.

Thelonious, Wells and Clarke were all really nervous. Clarke knew how much Wells wanted to be marked, so she couldn’t help herself when she send a prayer or five to whoever was in charge of those damn marks.

But of course, neither one of them had any reason to worry. Loyal, clever and the best friend anyone could ever wish for, Wells Jaha, woke up with a soulmark on his chest. Clarke knew that if he didn’t get one – no one would.

‘A strawberry poison frog’ Clarke said in awe when Wells showed it to her. ‘It’s so beautiful. Congrats Wells’ The orange frog with blue legs, that shimmered like a diamond when it got hit by sunlight, really was a gorgeous soulmark. ‘I’m so happy for you’ she said while they hugged each other tightly.

That night Wells threw a big birthday bash, celebrating the fact he was 17 and that he got marked.

 

* * *

 

 

Between Wells’ birthday and her own, Clarke moved back in with her dad and she met Atom Jones at the animal clinic where the both of them volunteered.

Atom was a year older, very good looking, a big animal lover like she was and very sweet. Atom was also a Blank Soul, something that actually drew Clarke to him.

Atom told Clarke what it was like to wake up unmarked. First it had hurt like hell, knowing that he would never grow old with a soulmate, that he would never be loved with the most sought after type of love. But when he got used to the idea, Atom found his peace with it.

He was spared the feeling of losing true love and he could live his life for himself, instead of spending a lifetime looking for your true love like some people were doomed to do. Atom had an independent soul without a big and obvious weakness.

‘Besides, that I didn’t get one now, doesn’t mean I’ll never get one’ he concluded.

He was right, but it was a chance of less than 5 percent. Sometimes someone got a soulmark later in life when their new soulmate had just lost their first one, but it was extremely rare.

Clarke told him about her parents and that she had a feeling she would be a Blank Soul as well. Clarke told him that she liked him and asked him if he wanted to give them a go. He did and what they had was nice, but they both knew that what they shared wasn’t any type of love, only fondness.

Their passionate fling ended abruptly when Clarke turned 17 and found a soulmark on her arm. Atom told Clarke he didn’t want to be with someone that belonged to someone else, that he could never become serious with someone that was a flight risk. Clarke couldn’t blame him and she knew she wasn't in love with the guy, so they decided to go back as friends.

When Clarke woke up on her seventeenth birthday she immediately found her mark. Clarke opened her eyes and brought her hand to her face, so she could scratch her nose and there it was. _Holy fuck.._

Clarke instantly started to panic, not because she knew now for certain she had a soulmate, but because it was a soulmark like she’d never seen one before.

It was a cherry blossom that decorated the inside of my lower arm and it was completely _colourless_.

Clarke quickly did the math. Ninety-one percent of the soulmarks had colour, only a few percent were in black and/or grey. Her mark didn’t have a splash of colour and as an artist, Clarke found it breath taking, but it still left her dumbfounded. It looked like someone had sketched it on her skin with a very dark pencil and had filled it with a softer grey.

Clarke wondered if it meant something. Why was her mark colourless? Why did she get the kind of mark only nine percent of marked people get? Or did the colourlessness of her mark indicate something about her soulmate?

Clarke turned on her laptop and started looking for answers. To her dissatisfaction, Clarke didn’t really get any, but Wikipedia had a nice little story about it.

_‘It is to be believed that the more complex (multiple colours, with details or multiple symbols) a soulmark is, the truer the love is. However there are Marked people who have a colourless mark. Having a soulmark with no colour is very rare. Only nine percent of the world population has a soulmark that is black or black with grey.’_ Clarke looked down at her arm to find that her black with grey mark still graced her arm. _‘These colourless marks don’t indicate a colourless love. No, legends say that when you’re marked with black, you’re destined for a love as great as Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy’_

Since it came from Wikipedia, Clarke figured it was probably bullshit, but she thought it was a cute story nonetheless.

Wells and his dad came over to celebrate her seventeenth birthday later and to admire her soulmark. Neither Jake, Thelonious nor Wells knew what to make out of it being a black with grey one, but the four of them all agreed it was pretty.

Later that night Wells asked Clarke how she felt about being marked.

It wasn’t an easy question for her to answer. Clarke felt hundred different emotions about it. She was relieved and happy that she was blessed with something people would kill for, but Clarke was still terrified that it would be taken from her. She was confused about why she got a colourless soulmark and she wanted to know what it meant.

There was also still a small part of Clarke that was devastated and angry about being someone’s soulmate. Clarke wasn’t ready yet for the epic kind of love the Gods had in store for her. She wanted to be independent, Clarke didn’t mind the idea of being on her own. She also hated the idea that her happiness depended on someone else, that she would live a miserable life if she would stay Incomplete.

And she wasn’t ready for such a commitment yet.

Clarke knew that she would be, one day, but she also knew that day wouldn’t be tomorrow or the day after that one.

‘It will happen when you’re ready’ Wells said.

‘How do you know?’ Clarke asked sceptical.

‘Because it will be fate’ Wells answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Everything about these soulmarks and soulmates and true love is chosen for us. It’s all out of our control. So when you’ll finally meet your soulmate, someone else will have decided that was The Moment. So, don’t worry – it will be perfect’

‘Wow, you’re mark should’ve been an owl’ Clarke joked and he chuckled. ‘Since you’re such a wise ass and all’

 

What Wells thought may have been correct for when he met his soulmate, but when Clarke met hers, it was as imperfect as it could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter Clarke meets her soulmate and the two leave with a very bad first impression of the other.. ;)
> 
> Please let me know what you thought! xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine, hope you enjoy! :) ♡♡

The next year flew by. Wells and Clarke both turned 18, Clarke's swimming team won the State Championship, they went to prom together (Wells even won prom king. He’d never looked as awkward as when the principal crowned him – it was the best moment of Clarke's life and her screensaver), they graduated and Clarke gave an inspiring valedictorian speech.

But the highlight of the year was when Wells and Clarke both got their acceptance letters to Arcennes University – their dream school. Both of their fathers had attended AU and they had taken their children to many trips to the campus as kids to support the football team.

It had been Wells’ and Clarke's dream to go there since they were kids and they had both worked their asses off to get a perfect college application. Clarke knew that both AU and her dad had high expectations of her when she would enroll and she wasn’t going to let anyone down.

Getting her acceptance made all the long hours of studying, working and volunteering worth it. All the blood, sweat and tears had paid off.

Honestly, Clarke couldn’t see herself going to any other school. Not only because she would be the fourth generation of the Griffin’s to attend Arcennes, but because she felt at home there.

Both Jake and Clarke cried tears of joy when Clarke received the news. ‘Your mother would’ve been so proud Clarke, just like I am’ her dad had said with a proud smile gracing his features. When they hugged each other tightly, Clarke felt an intense form of gratefulness that she still had her dad to celebrate this milestone with and that he was still sober.

The thought of leaving her father was something that kept Clarke up at night. He’d be all alone in a big, empty house with only his job to distract him and Clarke knew the loneliness would make it easier for Jake to go back to the bottle. Thelonious had promised Clarke to keep a close eye on Jake and Clarke would try her best too from the other side of the country, but she was still afraid she would lose her dad to liquor again. Or to death, this time.

‘We’ll skype every day and I’ll come home every holiday. Even spring break’ Clarke told her dad.

‘Clarke, honey, _please_.. I know you’re worried about me, but I don’t want you to miss out on real college experiences because of me. Because out of _fear_ for me and my wellbeing.. I’ll keep myself busy and I promised you that I was done with that crap’ Jake said in a stern tone. 'And I meant it'

‘I know, and you’ve been able to keep that promise to me until now, but you’ll be all alone here.. I can’t lose you too, dad, I _can’t_ ’ Clarke's voice broke at the end and she wasn’t able to keep her tears at bay.

‘Oh, pumpkin..’ her dad whispered in her hair when he wrapped his daughter in an embrace. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry..’ he said softly before Clarke felt her hair getting wet due to his tears. ‘I’ll still go to AA meetings every week and I have my sober companion on speed dial..’ Jake promised her. ‘I’ve decided to re-join the swimming team and Thelonious and I will hang out all the time. I’ll be too busy to drink, I promise. Besides, I don’t even _want_ to’

Her father's words made Clarke feel a little more at ease, but she still felt guilty for going off to college, so she decided to get her dad a gift the next day.

‘Clarke, no-‘ Jake objected when he was over his initial shock.

‘If you make me bring them back, I’ll call you twice a day and go home for spring break’ Clarke threatened. ‘And look how cute they are!’ she added in a high-pitched voice.

It had the desired effect.

‘Fine..’ her dad conceded and he took one of the two kittens in his arms. It immediately started to spin very cutely, grateful for the attention. ‘You can call me twice a _week_ and during spring break you’re doing something stereotypical, understood?’

‘The grey one with stripes is a girl and the red one is a boy’ Clarke said smiling, glad they had made a deal. ‘Any names come to mind yet?’

‘Donald and Daisy’ her father answered without missing a beat. He scratched Donald under his chin and the kitten meowed in delight, while Clarke cooed at Daisy.

This had been one of her better ideas, Clarke thought to herself, smiling.

 

* * *

 

 

Going to college meant a new start, one that Clarke craved.

Once upon a time she had been Clarke Griffin.

Then she became Clarke Griffin, the bisexual girl.

When her mom had died, Clarke became Clarke Griffin, the girl with the dead mother and the alcoholic for a dad.

After her seventeenth birthday however, she became Clarke Griffin, the one with the _black_ soulmark.

Everyone wanted to see Clarke's soulmark, touch it even. She couldn’t leave her house without people pointing at her, gossiping about her, and worse, gossip about who her soulmate would be. Clarke became famous in Summerfield, her hometown, and she hated it – she felt like a zoo animal on display.. Clarke started to wear a lot of long-sleeved shirts, cardigans, sweaters and blouses. If necessary, she covered her soulmark with a crap load of foundation.

Clarke made Wells swear to her that he would keep her soulmark a secret when they started attending Arcennes U. They would tell everyone who wanted to know that she had some red tropical fish on her arm.

Luckily for Clarke, her roommate, Raven Reyes, didn’t seem all that interested in the subject of soulmarks or in hers.

Raven was a bioengineer student originally from Seattle. Clarke learned she was a feisty Latina, outspoken, loved bar hopping, played soccer in AU’s girls team and she was a slob.

Raven was awesome and Clarke thanked the Gods that she was her roommate. They grew closer every day and Clarke knew she had a forever-friend in Raven.

‘Nice soulmark’ Clarke said on a Tuesday night a month after starting as an Art History student at Arcennes U.

Raven and Clarke were having a movie night and watching some Netflix on Clarke's laptop. Raven had just sat down with a new bowl of popcorn when her shorts riled up a bit and showed a part of the yellow with green mandela she had on her hip.

‘Thanks, but I think it’s a load of crap’ Raven said before stuffing a hand full of popcorn in her mouth.

‘Soulmarks?’ Clarke asked.

‘Yeah.. I mean, it’s like saying you can never love someone else, which is dumb. People love and fall in love with people who are not their soulmates all the time’ Raven answered, her voice harbouring the annoyance she felt about the marks. ‘I honestly can’t believe I’ll ever love someone more than that I love Finn and we don’t even share a mark. Popcorn?’

‘Yes please’ Clarke answered and she grabbed two hands full of her favourite snack. ‘I agree with you by the way’ Clarke said when she had consumed the popcorn in her hands. ‘I didn’t want mine either. In my experience it brings you more misery than joy..’

‘Exactly!’ Raven exclaimed. ‘I don’t give a damn about my mark. I haven’t met my soulmate yet and I hope I never will’ she sounded very resolute.

Clarke shrugged. ‘I think I’d like to meet them one day, but I hope that day will be in like ten, fifteen _years_. But I don’t think I’ll be too sorry if I’ll stay Incomplete forever’

‘I’ll drink to that’ Raven said and they raised their beers for a toast.

‘May true love never fuck with us’ Clarke said and she finished her drink in one go.

 

* * *

 

 

Wells had hit the roommate-jackpot as well.

His roommie was Monty Green, a Media and Communication student, just like Wells. Monty seemed to be a lot like Wells – loyal, friendly, smart, a pacifist. Unlike Wells, he could be very sarcastic (Clarke loved that about Monty), stubborn and he was a morning person.

Raven, Wells, Monty and Clarke became their own little group of friends. Once a week they watched a movie together and ate some pizza, got a drink at a party and Clarke never had to eat lunch alone, because she was lucky enough that one of them always had the same lunch period as she did.

Monty and Clarke were eating their lunch together, on a bench somewhere on campus, enjoying one of the last warm days of the year.

Clarke was sketching Monty while he was telling her about his travels to Paris. Clarke had been there too the previous summer, with her dad and the Jaha’s, so they told each other stories and compared memories.

‘Paris, the city of love’ Monty let out a content sigh. He had a dreamy look in his eyes Clarke desperately wanted to capture with her pencil. ‘I’m definitely taking Nate there one day’

Nate, short for Nathan Miller, was Monty’s soulmate. They’d been together since they met, which was 5 months ago.

‘How did you two meet?’ Clarke asked, both out of curiosity and out of desperation to keep that dreamy look in Monty’s pecan brown eyes.

Monty chuckled. ‘ _Oh_ , it was definitely a meet cute’ his lips turned into a sweet smile and he started to blush. ‘We met in a supermarket. I was trying to grab this box of cereal, but I couldn’t reach it, even when I was standing on my toes.. It was very embarrassing..’ Monty laughed. ‘I suddenly saw this hand in front of me that grabbed it for me and my eyes immediately saw his soulmark. A yellow sun and a white moon, on his knuckles – just like mine..’

Monty was lost in the memory for a moment, before his gaze dropped to his soulmark.

‘I kept thinking, _‘That’s the hand of my soulmate, that’s the hand of my soulmate! Holy crap!’_. I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t even avert my gaze from his mark, even after he had handed me my cereal’ Monty continued after a moment. ‘I finally got the sense to look him in his eyes and to thank him for his help, but instead I blabbed, ‘Never-thought-we’d-meet-in-a-supermarket!’’

Clarke chuckled while she continued detailing her drawing of Monty.

‘It’s funny to think about Nate’s face changing at that moment. First he looked uncomfortable because I kept staring at his mark, then confused because he hadn’t made out what I said, then his eyes widened comically when realisation struck and then he just started laughing this beautiful laugh.. I fell in love right then and there.. In a freaking _supermarket_..’ Monty concluded laughing. ‘It was perfect’

‘What happened after?’

‘He took me out for coffee and later that night to the carnival – our first date. The rest, as they say, is history’ Monty answered smiling.

‘Is that why you decided to go to Arcennes?’ Clarke asked. ‘To be close to Miller?’

‘Yes, and this school is amazing in its own right, of course. The choice was all mine, he didn’t pressure me or anything, but I love him and I didn’t want to spend the next four years away from him’ Monty answered and he took a gulp from his juice. ‘I mean, he’s already in his third year of Ark’s Community College, so it wasn’t like he could follow me to NYU’

‘So not a hard decision?’

‘Not at all’

‘Well, I’m glad you decided to enrol in AU too’ Clarke said smiling.

‘Yes, it was the best decision of my life’ Monty assured her. ‘Can I see the drawing now?’

‘Nope’ Clarke said, popping the p and she continued to perfect the drawing of her friend.

 

* * *

 

 

A week later Clarke found Raven crying in their dorm room, while packing a suitcase in a hurry.

Clarke had just gotten back from a long day of classes and she was covered in the clay she'd used to make a sculpture. Clarke had been looking forward to taking a shower, so she could clean herself and could relax her aching muscles with some hot water. After that she was going to treat herself on the leftover tacos she had and paint her nails with a silver beads nail polish while watching ‘Grace and Frankie’.

Obviously those plans vanished like snow in the sun when she found a quite hysterical Raven.

‘Rae, what’s going on?’ Clarke's voice slightly revealed the panic she felt.

‘I found my soulmate’ Raven explained between sobs. ‘I need to go to Finn, now!’

‘Is there anything I can do?’ Clarke quickly asked, while dumping her book bag on her desk. Clarke knew she couldn’t stop Raven from going and she knew Raven wouldn’t appreciate Clarke slowing her down with stupid questions about her soulmate or their meeting. ‘Need help packing? Need a ride to the airport?’

‘No, but thanks for offering’ Raven cried. ‘I’m all done and I’m getting an Uber’ she zipped up her suitcase and plopped down on her bed, still crying. Raven buried her face in her hands and her entire body shook while she wept.

Seeing her friend in such pain made something inside Clarke break and she felt her eyes water. Clarke sat down next to her and put her arms around her roommate. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Clarke offered.

‘I- I can’t lose him, Clarke..’ Raven started. ‘I can’t! I love him so much, I don’t care that Gina is my soulmate.. She can’t be, because I _chose_ Finn as mine..’

‘Gina?’ Clarke was surprised to hear Raven's soulmate was a girl, because Clarke hadn’t know Raven liked girls as well.

‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t want her and I made that perfectly clear to her, so I doubt she wants me now, but I don’t care!’ Raven rambled. ‘I only want Finn and we got into a fight when I called him, so I’m going to him now’

Clarke nodded. ‘Okay..’ she mumbled, lacking a different response. ‘I’ll get you some water’

Raven gratefully accepted the glass of water and the tissues Clarke handed her a moment later. ‘I’m going to go now, my ride will be here any sec’ Raven said in a soft voice when she had taken a few sips.

Clarke gave her a quick, but tight, hug when they both got up. ‘You have my number if you need anything, okay?’

Raven gave Clarke a weak attempt to a smile. ‘Thanks Clarke’ she sniffed before she closed their door behind her.

 _Poor Raven._ Losing the most important person in her life because fate had decided something else. Clarke let out a tortured sigh. These marks were cruel and true love was too. Clarke knew she was supposed to feel super happy about having a soulmark, especially a colourless one, but in that moment she was reminded of what a curse that all really was.

When Clarke finally got under the shower she couldn’t help but scrub her stupid mark furiously in the hope it would disappear.

It didn’t, obviously.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day was a Saturday and Clarke had agreed to come to a Trivia Night at ‘From Above’, the bar Miller worked at as a bartender. Monty had invited Wells, Raven and Clarke, but Raven obviously wasn’t going to make it.

Clarke was worried about her friend. Clarke had texted Raven to check in on her, but she hadn’t gotten a response yet.

The whole Raven business made Clarke need a night out even more and she decided to go to the bar a little bit earlier than they’d agreed upon.

Clarke had been to ‘From Above’ before, where she'd met Miller a couple of times, both as the bartender that slipped her a beer once in a while and as a trivia teammate, and she liked the place. The music was good, the chairs and tables were clean, the drinks were affordable and the crowd wasn't bad.

‘Clarke!’ Miller greeted her cheerfully from behind the bar. He was cleaning some of the glasses and she sat down on the barstool in front of him.

‘Hey Miller, how’ve you been?’ Clarke asked.

Miller got her an iced tea and they chatted for a moment about classes and the upcoming trivia while Clarke finished her drink.

‘I actually have a little present for you’ Clarke suddenly remembered. She got the drawing she made of Monty out of her purse and handed it to him. ‘That’s how Monty looks when he talks about you’ Clarke added with a smile.

Miller seemed speechless for a moment. ‘Clarke, _wow_ , it’s-‘ the words seemed to be caught in his throat and he blinked back a tear or two. ‘You’re really talented.. I _love_ it’ his eyes were still glued on Clarke's drawing and after a second he added in a whisper, ‘Thank you’

Clarke smiled at him. ‘I thought you might like it’ Moving people and leaving them speechless was the best reaction an artist could get when showing their art. _Mission accomplished._ ‘Is it worth a couple of beers?’ she joked.

Miller chuckled, but before he could answer, some guy slipped into the barstool next to hers and said, ‘Miller, what’s with the emotions?’

Miller gave the guy a scowl and told him to fuck off, before he turned to Clarke again. ‘You’re getting a beer, but drink it quickly’

Clarke chuckled and she promised she would.

Miller handed both Clarke and the stranger next to her a glass of beer and introduced them to each other. ‘Blake, this is Clarke-‘

‘Yeah, Clarke _Griffin_. I know who she is’ the guy, who apparently went by the name Blake, said in a mocking tone. ‘Arcennes’ _princess_ ’ he added with a glare directed at Clarke.

Clarke couldn’t help the sharp inhale she took after hearing his insult. ‘Excuse me?!’ she said offended.

‘Come on, Princess. Did you really think it would be a secret that your dad and grandmother had attended AU too or that your grandparents donated every penny for the campus’ East Wing?’

Clarke felt her cheeks warm up. She always got uncomfortable talking about money, especially the old money her father came from.

‘I was wondering, though’ Blake continued with a bite in his tone. ‘Did you even bother to apply to more universities or didn’t you want to bother since you already knew you’d get accepted to AU anyway?’

Clarke's uncomfortableness flared into an intense anger. _How dare this guy talk this shit about me? He didn’t know a thing about me!_ ‘Fuck you asshole!’ she growled. ‘I worked my ass off to get into Arcennes! Probably twice as hard as you did-‘

‘Trust me, you didn’t!’ he interrupted her angrily.

‘How would you know? The only thing you know about me is my name, and with that you create this image about me you can use to insult me with, asshole! Well, let me tell you something, dickhead, you don’t know a _thing_ about me!’

‘I know your kind, so that’s enough’ Blake said unimpressed by her rant, before he let out a humourless laugh that made her see red.

‘My _kind_?!’ Clarke had to ball up her hands to keep herself from breaking his nose. ‘Well I’d rather be my _kind_ , or whatever, than be a judgemental, moronic and shallow piece of shit like you!’

Blake seemed to take offense in that – _finally_ – but before he could insult her even more with his bullshit, Clarke had thrown her beer in his face.

She would have loved to see his reaction and the look in his stupid intense, walnut brown eyes, after she’d soaked his face and shirt, but Clarke honestly was afraid she would punch him, and as an artist, her hands were her life. That asshole wasn’t worth risking her precious art makers.

Clarke grabbed her purse and got up to leave. She was going to have a great night and crush that bastard in trivia. Clarke promised herself that that night would be the only and last time she would ever have to see that idiot again and that he would look sullen because he would have lost the game to her.

 

She did win that game, but the Gods, of course, had something else in mind, concerning never seeing the ink haired asshole again..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter Clarke makes a new friend, Raven's drama continues and Clarke and 'Blake' fight some more ;) 
> 
> I hope you'll let me know if you liked it, I'd love to hear your thoughts! :) xx♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes, hope you enjoy! :)

 

Two nights later Raven returned when Clarke was soundly asleep.

‘Clarke?’ Raven sniffed and she softly shook Clarke awake.

Clarke stirred and opened her eyes. ‘Raven?’ she whispered, while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

‘I’m back..’ Raven whispered and Clarke could hear the hurt in Raven’s voice so clearly, she could almost touch it with her fingers.

Clarke looked up at Raven and when her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the night, the broken look in her friend’s eyes made her breath hitch in her throat. ‘What happened?’ Clarke immediately asked.

Raven took a moment and swallowed. ‘We broke up’ she said in a broken whisper.

‘Want to talk about it?’

‘No’ Raven said firmly and then in a softer tone, almost a begging one, ‘But can I sleep next to you? I don’t want to be alone tonight’

Clarke raised her covers and made some room for Raven. ‘Of course’

Raven laid down next to her and Clarke curled her arms around Raven’s middle, so that her friend had the comforting position of the little spoon. She knew that there weren’t words to dull Raven’s pain, so she silently hugged Raven and when Raven’s breaths evened out, Clarke let herself fall back asleep.

 

**♡♡**

 

When Clarke woke up the next morning, Raven was still soundly asleep and Clarke decided to keep it that way. She carefully got out of bed, put on some clothes and went to the on-campus coffee shop where she bought two coffees and two croissants for Raven and herself.

Raven was already awake when Clarke returned, but she was still lying in Clarke’s bed and mindlessly staring into space.

‘Hey’ Clarke softly said. ‘I got you some breakfast’

One of the corners of Raven’s mouth lifted. ‘Thanks’ she mumbled when Clarke handed her the food.

They silently drank their coffees and nibbled at their croissants. Clarke was curious to know what had gone down in Seattle and what went on in Raven’s mind, but remained quiet. It was Raven who eventually broke the silence in their dorm room.

‘He cheated on me. Finn cheated on me’ Raven looked so lost, still staring at the floor while taking a sip of her coffee, that Clarke wondered if Raven had said the words to remind herself what had happened that Saturday.

Raven’s mocha brown eyes found Clarke’s icy blue ones and she repeated what she said, her earlier disbelieve replaced by shock. ‘I came home to him and I found him in bed with some other girl.. And apparently it wasn’t the first time they hooked up..’

Clarke was shocked. ‘Dear Gods..’ she muttered. Raven was willing to let her one true love go, so she could make Finn happy, and instead of kissing the ground Raven walked on, Finn cheated on her and ripped Raven’s heart out of her chest. Clarke had never met Finn but her hands were buzzing with anticipation to punch the guy’s teeth out.

‘I promised him it didn’t matter to me, that we weren’t soulmates.. I even told Gina that I didn’t care we shared the same mark. That I had made up my mind..’ Raven sniffed and she quickly wiped a tear of her cheek.

‘What did she say?’ Clarke asked in a soft tone and added, in a more confused tone, ‘How did you even meet her?’

‘Apparently she’s the sister of one of the girls in my soccer team..’ Raven explained while playing with the empty coffee cup in her hands. ‘I always try to hide my mark, especially in public, but Nicole, Gina’s sister, must’ve seen it in the showers or something and she called Gina.. So, she showed up after practice to introduce herself and I completely freaked out. I was a total bitch and stormed off.. I need more coffee’

Clarke did the only thing she knew she could do in that moment. She handed her coffee to Raven and told her that she could finish it.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been such a nice morning. Clarke woke up feeling rested and to the smell of fresh coffee and bagels (a thank you from Raven) and when she went to the showers she found them blissfully deserted and took her sweet time. After getting dressed, Clarke made her way to her first and only class of the day. “Ancient Greek Poetry” was a tutorial class she’d been looking forward to for a while now, so Clarke left with excitement pumping through her veins.

Of course, it all went downhill from there.

On her way to her class, Clarke got stuck in a rainstorm and arrived at the building looking like a drowned cat. Or more like a drowned badger, since the carefully applied mascara on her eyelashes now decorated her cheeks. Clarke hastily cleaned herself in the restroom before she entered the classroom where their professor, Marcus Kane, an old family friend, was already welcoming their class.

‘Ah, Miss. Griffin, how nice of you to join us’ Marcus said in a teasing matter when he found Clarke interrupting his introduction. ‘Please take a seat’

Clarke gave him a grateful smile and did as she was told. Marcus picked up where he’d left off and told his class what to expect in the next couple of weeks. Every week they were supposed to write a four page essay about a piece of poetry from the given era and discuss the translation and conclusion with their tutorial partner and Marcus himself. Next Marcus announced the pairings.

Clarke didn’t have to wait long for her name to be called. After Harper McIntyre got paired with Maya Vie, a Bellamy Blake got paired up with her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke saw a guy with tousled black curls tense up. When she turned her head she found _him_ , that asshole Blake from Trivia Night, already staring at her and looking anything but pleased. Clarke glared back at him, making sure he knew that she hated it even more that they had to work together during this tutorial.

 _How the fuck was this possible?_ Out of all the people in the school, in that class, she had to work with that judgemental jackass..

If Clarke had held even a little hope that he would be somewhat nice and that the start of their partnership wouldn’t be awful, she would’ve been an idiot to think so, because he greeted her with the words, ‘Let me be clear about this _Princess_ , I don’t care who you are or who your family is, I’m not going to do all the work here because you think-‘

Clarke glared at him (again) and cut him off. ‘Fuck off, asshole!’ she snapped and she didn’t even care that she’d caught the attention of some of her fellow students. ‘Why don’t you stop whining about my family so we can get to work?’

Bellamy’s jaw tensed, but he seemed to agree. That was the last time they agreed on something. The rest of the hour was spend disagreeing and insulting the other, until Marcus asked them to leave.

‘I can’t believe you got us kicked out of class!’ Clarke yelled when Marcus closed the door behind the two of them.

‘That’s all on you, Princess!’ Bellamy bit back. ‘If you would just listen to my voice of reason-‘

‘Voice of reason?!’ Clarke yelled disbelieving. ‘Don’t make me laugh! Your voice is more like a voice of a buffoon! You’ve said nothing-‘

‘Unlike you, I actually _do_ know a thing or two about poetry and the Ancients Greeks-‘

‘Great! When are you going to start using that knowledge instead of drowning me with your bullshit?’

Bellamy’s nostrils flared in anger and his cheeks burned brightly. Clarke was pleased she finally got to him and she noticed that every time she called him out on his intelligence or knowledge he seemed greatly offended. ‘If you could just shut that big mouth of yours and _listen_ to me for a minute, we could’ve agreed on something ages ago’

‘Fine’ Clarke begrudgingly relented, after rolling her eyes at him, because she hoped to prevent an upcoming headache. Bellamy looked surprised for a second. ‘Pick whatever you want and send me the essay by Monday, then I’ll have time enough to look it over by Wednesday when we have our next meeting with Professor Kane’ Clarke said and she wrote her email down on a scrap of paper and handed it to Bellamy, before she left him without a single word.

 

**♡♡**

 

‘Is he really that bad?’ Raven asked amused when Clarke had ranted on and on about Bellamy Blake, the pain in her existence.

Clarke was lying face down on her bed with her face in her pillow, so her answer was a muffled ‘Yes’.

‘This guy really is under your skin, huh?’

Clarke looked up at her friend to find Raven smiling wickedly at her. ‘No’ she insisted with a glare.

‘Yes’ Raven challenged.

Clarke scowled. ‘No. I’m just upset that he hates me without good enough a reason and that I have to work with that asshole for the next 6 weeks..’

‘Why do you even care? You’re right, he doesn’t have a reason to hate you, so let him wallow in his hatred. Don’t let it get to you, babe. You’re awesome, it’s his problem he’s too blind and stupid to see it’

Clarke let out a sigh. ‘You’re right.. And I have no clue why it bothers me’ she admitted and then smiled. ‘All I know is that I pity his soulmate – if he even has one..’

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s classes were keeping her busy, but now that she wasn’t volunteering, co-captain of a swimming team _and_ working, she had too much free time on her hands. So, she decided to apply for the open waitress position at one of the Italian restaurants in town.

Clarke figured it would be a nice break from her classes and campus and even if she didn’t need the cash – her dad made sure Clarke’s bank account was always full enough – she liked making her own money.

Venice’s Canals, the Italian restaurant, was a fancy place where Clarke had to wear long-sleeved shirts – which meant she could easily hide her soulmark – and during breaks she could order whatever she liked of the menu to eat. Clarke considered this the perfect job for her.

Clarke got along great with one of the other newly hired waitresses. The girl’s name was Octavia and she was a senior at the high school in town. She was an easy-going and bubbly girl and Clarke enjoyed spending her breaks with her.

‘Gods, it was just awful’ Clarke complained to Octavia about the meeting she had with Bellamy and Marcus that day. ‘He’s horrible, absolutely _horrible_.. Every comment I had about his translation and interpretation was – according to him – a _stupid_ remark.. He even called me a dumb blonde!’

Octavia laughed. ‘Poor you..’ she agreed.

‘Yes, poor me indeed. I have to suffer through 5 more of those meetings!’

‘What’s the kid’s name again?’

Clarke swallowed a bite of her pizza. ‘I’m afraid he’s the reincarnation of the devil or something, so if I say his name, he might show up here as a guest and torment me..’

Octavia shook her head with a smirk.

‘He’s not worth mentioning more’ Clarke concluded. ‘How was your week?’

‘Busy and uneventful’ Octavia continued with her lasagne. ‘My brother’s on my case about college and applications and stuff, so we’ve been busy fighting about my future. And studying, I have some tests coming up and I need to pass them’

Clarke had known Octavia for only a couple of weeks, but she knew that Octavia lived with her brother and that their parents were out of the picture. Octavia had never offered more details and Clarke had never pressed for more, because she understood it was a sensitive subject. Just like Clarke hadn’t told Octavia the truth about her soulmark or how Jake was a recovering alcoholic.

‘You don’t want to go to college?’ Clarke asked and Octavia shrugged.

‘I honestly don’t see the appeal. My brother’s like this smart nerd and he worked his ass off to get into Arcennes. But that was him dream, you know, but he doesn’t understand that it’s not _mine_..’

‘Well, what do you wanna do?’

‘I don’t know what I want to do, only what I’m expected to do’ Octavia let out a weary sigh and took a big bite of her lasagne.

‘My mom was a physician’ Clarke begins, ‘and I know she wanted me to become a doctor as well, but that’s just not who I am, that’s who _she_ was.. I always wanted to be an artist and I think she believed that to be a childhood dream, not something to take too seriously. But if I studied pre-med right now, I’d be miserable and I can’t believe my mother would’ve been happy if I was studying something that would make me unhappy. And I don’t think your brother would be happy if you would do something that made you unhappy just to please him. Or later become a college dropout’

Octavia played with her food while taking the words in. ‘True’ she nodded.

‘It’s your life, Octavia. If you don’t fully support something that’s going to affect you for the rest of your life, then don’t do it. Don’t put yourself through something awful you know you can avoid’ Clarke concluded.

Octavia gave her a slight smile. ‘Thanks, Clarke’

 

* * *

 

 

Saturday Trivia Night at ‘From Above’ slowly became a thing. Clarke looked forward to the night every week and the night was considered especially successful when Bellamy was one of the losers of the trivia game. Clarke would never admit of being disappointed when he wasn’t there during the game, because that would be _absolutely_ ridiculous.

Wells, Monty, Raven and Clarke were in a booth playing a card game and just enjoying each other’s company, when Clarke got up to get the next round. She saw Bellamy make his way over to the bar as well, but kept ignoring him when he slid into the barstool next to hers.

‘Nice nails’ he chose as an icebreaker.

Clarke pointedly kept looking ahead of her, instead of glancing down at her sunset inspired ombre nails. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

‘My favourite colour’ he said and she wanted to roll her eyes. She used at least three different colours to create the effect, so he probably wanted her to rise to the bait and ask him which one of the colours he meant. ‘The pink one’ he continued, when he realised she was going to remain silent. ‘It’s warm and bright and it reminds me of sunsets’

Clarke bit her lip to stop herself from saying that her nails were indeed inspired by sunsets and her silence made Bellamy huff in annoyance. When he spoke again, she couldn’t ignore him any longer, even though she still wanted to. ‘I owe you an apology’

‘For being an asshole?’ Clarke said unimpressed and kept avoiding his gaze, as she signalled Miller for four beers.

‘For misjudging you and not taking you seriously as a tutorial partner, so yeah..’

‘Yeah, that was a dick move’ Clarke agreed in a harsh voice. She relented and looked over to him. ‘Thank you’ she eventually said in a softer tone when she was convinced his apology was genuine. ‘And I owe you an apology as well. For throwing my drink in your face’ Bellamy smirked when she brought up the memory and Clarke tried not to let the sight get to her. ‘Even though you deserved it’ she added.

‘I did’ Bellamy agreed with a chuckle. ‘So, tell me, how did you get so good at trivia?’

Clarke laughed. ‘Don’t you mean _great_ at trivia?’ she teased.

‘Let’s not get ahead of ourselves Princess’ Bellamy teased.

Clarke rolled her eyes at the nickname, but felt her lips twitch upwards nonetheless.  

‘Let me get you a drink’ Bellamy offered.

‘Miller’s already getting me four’ Clarke declined, but there was something about Bellamy Blake that made her want to have that drink. She already knew he was hot, but now that they had buried the hatchet, she really _looked_ at him. She saw the warmth in his eyes, accentuated by excitement, the playfulness in his smirk, how his unruly curls made him look careless – even if it was obvious in every way that he cared about everything a great deal. Even _she_ knew that. Clarke saw how strong his hands were, how reliable and supportive they looked, and yet had a tenderness to them. Her insides warmed up, but that must’ve been the effect of the beers she’d drunk; it couldn’t possibly be because Bellamy had such an effect on her. _Yes, definitely the alcohol._

Clarke noticed Bellamy’s shoulders sag in disappointment when she refused, so she decided to give into the pull she felt towards him. ‘But I wouldn’t mind a fifth’ she said smiling and Bellamy answered with one of his own.

They talked about classes and about the upcoming Halloween party one of the frats was throwing. Bellamy told Clarke that he had a weakness for everything with melted cheese and he learned from her that she was more of a cat than a dog person. Clarke tried not to think how odd it was that talking and laughing with Bellamy seemed so easy, so _natural_.

She completely forgot about the beers her friends were waiting on and barely noticed Raven grab them. Bellamy demanded all of her attention and she was oh so willing to give him every ounce of it. There was something about him and Clarke didn’t know what it was, only that it was great.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally learned what a [tumblr](http://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/) is and I got one, so come say hi! I'd love to follow more people :)
> 
> Thoughts, feels or feedback on this chapter or story, please let me know :) xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes, hope you'll enjoy! :)

Clarke was lying on her bed, opening the pictures of Donald and Daisy on her cell that her father had send her. Clarke knew she’d made her father really happy with the two kittens, since he send her almost one picture a day of his two pets. Jake really seemed to be doing well and Clarke couldn’t be happier about that fact, especially since the anniversary of her mother’s death was in two weeks.

Raven came back from her classes, so Clarke showed her the pictures of Donald and Daisy before asking how her roommate was doing. Raven was slowly picking up the pieces of her life and had even reached out to Gina to apologise.

‘Classes were good’ Raven answered. ‘About to head out to go meet Gina’ Raven lips turned into a sweet smile and her eyes got a dreamy look. ‘How about you?’

‘You like her’ Clarke said with an excited smile.

‘She’s cool’ Raven blushed, before her smile turned into a frown. ‘Much cooler than I am.. I mean, if she’d acted like I did when we first met, I’d probably tell her to fuck off and that she’d missed her chance..’

‘What did she say when you apologised?’ Clarke asked.

‘She was pretty upset, obviously, but she said she’d give me one more shot since I was her soulmate. I asked her if she’d be okay with taking it slow and she agreed’ Raven sighed and looked a little ashamed of herself. ‘The Gods only know what I did to deserve her.. I already like her so much, I feel like a fucking idiot.. All I can do is try to make it up to her’

Clarke gave her friend an encouraging smile. ‘If she’ll let you, you will. You’re awesome, Rae. I know you’ll make her very happy’

‘Thanks’ Raven’s lips curled into a smile. ‘How about you? Already found the guy or girl with a red fish on their arm?’

A wave of guilt went through Clarke and it must’ve shown on her face, because Raven gave her a look and asked her, ‘What?’

Clarke knew that Raven was her friend and she hated lying to her. It was only a matter of time before Raven saw her soulmark, and Clarke preferred Raven finding out from her because she was honest, than Raven finding out by accident. ‘Can you keep a secret?’ she asked.

‘Yes’ Raven promised, looking intrigued by the change of subject.

Instead of telling her, Clarke pulled down her left sleeve. Raven gasped when she saw the colourless soulmark and her eyes widened in shock.

‘ _Holy fuck_ ’ Raven breathed. ‘Is that even real?’

‘You can’t tell anyone, Rae – promise me’ Clarke urged. ‘People always get weird around it and I hate it. They make me feel like a freaking zoo animal’ she complained.

‘I promise’ Raven assured her, before her eyes darted back to Clarke’s soulmark. ‘I’ve never seen one without colour. It’s really gorgeous, babe’

‘Thanks’ Clarke whispered and Raven looked back up at her. ‘I won’t tell anyone, not even Gina, okay?’

Clarke smiled in thanks. ‘What time are you supposed to meet her?’

Raven checked her phone and told Clarke ‘In five minutes’.

‘I’ll walk with you. I have a study date with Wells’ Clarke replied and she grabbed her books before they headed out.

Raven and Clarke chatted about the Halloween party they had the upcoming Saturday. When Clarke asked, Raven told her she was going as a hot zombie and that Gina was going as Tinkerbell. They decided to go to the party together, but not in a couples costume – they were just friends now, nothing more.

Gina was already waiting for Raven and Clarke’s heart did something funny when she saw who Gina was talking to. It was Bellamy.

He gave her a handsome smile when he saw her approaching and greeted her with the words, ‘Hey Princess’

Clarke glared at him and told him he had already known her name before they even met, so he might as well use it. ‘Fair enough’ he smirked, eyes sparkling with amusement. She wanted to kick him, but also drag him somewhere private so they could make out until the sun came up again – which was a very concerning thought and had to be ignored. Clarke barely knew the guy and yet, every time she saw him, she felt like a magnet that was being pulled to something iron. ‘How’ve you been?’ he asked, when Raven and Gina had said goodbye.

‘I’ve been doing well’ she answered, smiling slightly, ‘I’m looking forward to your essay though’ she said, in a challenging tone, her smile growing.

‘I bet you do, Princess’ he smirked.

‘Bell!’ she heard someone yell from behind her. When Clarke turned around she saw her favourite colleague making her way over to them. ‘Oh my God, Clarke, hey’ Octavia said excitedly before she gave Clarke a hug. ‘I hoped I’d run into you here’

‘Hi, Octavia’ Clarke said smiling, albeit confused over what the girl was doing there. ‘What’s bringing you to AU?’

‘The promise of a crappy cafeteria lunch with my favourite brother’ Octavia answered smiling, while her eyes flicked over to Bellamy. ‘I have to work tonight and he wants to eat at least one meal a day together—‘

‘I have to make sure you eat enough’ Bellamy interrupted her with a teasing smile, before he turned confused. ‘Wait– how do you two know each other?’

‘We’re colleagues’ Octavia answered her brother. Clarke remained silent, cheeks heating up, feeling very uncomfortable in the situation she found herself in. She’d described Bellamy “as the reincarnation of the devil” to Octavia, and now she found out they were related.. Why hadn’t she realised they were both named Blake and put two and two together?! She felt like an idiot…

Bellamy’s gaze travelled between the two girls and Clarke could see the wheels spinning in his eyes. When he apparently figured out what he was trying to figure out, he was radiating anger and pointing at Clarke. ‘ _Clarke’s_ the colleague that’s trying to persuade you not go to college?!’ he yelled at his sister, before sending daggers with his eyes at Clarke.

‘Gods, Bell, no—‘ Octavia tried, but Bellamy was having none of it.

‘Who the hell do you think you are, _Princess_?!’ he yelled at Clarke. ‘Telling my _sister_ not to go to college?! We’re not all loaded like you, some of us actually have to work for our own money, and to get that, you need a diploma! Not that you would understand that – your rich daddy can just buy you any degree you want, even if it’s a useless one like Art History—‘

‘Bell!’ Octavia interrupted her brother’s ranting, looking horrified.

Clarke just gaped at him, but when she got over her initial shock, she felt disappointed and enraged. Disappointed because she actually had started to like Bellamy and had expected them to be friends from now on, and disappointed because her first impression of him had been correct. He was an asshole. She felt enraged because he not only managed to offend her, her _dad_ and her _choice in major_ , but also because he, again, had wrongfully assumed something and made her look like an interfering rich snob. ‘You don’t know what the fuck you’re taking about!’ she spit. ‘So fuck you!’ she turned around to Octavia and told the girl she’d see her that night at work, before she bolted away.

She made her over to the library, where Wells was already waiting for her and the next two hours were spend with Clarke venting and cursing Bellamy Blake’s existence.

 

♡♡

 

‘So, I’m really sorry about my assface of a brother’ Octavia said that evening while they were on their break, staring into her macaroni. ‘I told him what you said to me – about following my own dreams and being my own person. He wasn’t all too happy about the fact that it’s not my dream to go to college, so he kind of took all his anger and frustration out on you..’ she explained.

‘Kind of?’ Clarke said unimpressed, taking a bite of her pizza.

‘Yeah.. sorry..’ Octavia said again, still uncomfortable. ‘He means well, he really does, but I’m sorry you got stuck in the crossfire’

Clarke shrugged, she was still kind of upset, but her pride kept her from showing it. ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s not like we’re friends or anything. I’ll just do my best to survive the next four weeks of our tutorial’ she said with a wink.

Octavia physically relaxed and let out a relieved laugh. ‘I’ll tell Bell to play nice and that I’ll break his kneecaps if he blames you again for shit you have no part in’

‘I can handle my own,’ Clarke promised smiling, before adding, ‘but thanks. I appreciate the gesture’

They started talking about a band Octavia liked that was coming to town, until the subject changed when Octavia rolled up her sleeves and Clarke saw Octavia’s soulmark for the first time. It was a butterfly on her right wrist that had wings with a rainbow pattern. It was a gorgeous mark, very colourful and complex, so if Wikipedia was right, Octavia was going to have an epic love. ‘Beautiful mark’ Clarke complimented her.

Octavia looked down at her wrist and smiled. ‘Thank you. It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?’ Clarke agreed and Octavia asked if Clarke was marked.

‘Yes, I have one on my thigh’ she lied, knowing that Octavia wouldn’t ask her to take off her jeans so Clarke could show her.

‘You should see my brother’s’ Octavia continued. ‘His mark is really stunning’ she added after taking a gulp from her Coke.

‘Really?’ Clarke asked, somewhat sceptical. She couldn’t believe that _Bellamy_ , grade A douchebag, had “a really stunning soulmark”. She pitied the unfortunate person who shared a mark with him and was stuck with Bellamy as their soulmate for the rest of their life.

‘Yes, the Gods only know how he gets away with it, but he picks up a lot of girls with his mark’ Octavia said, unable to hold her bubbly laughter. ‘He says he got it because “he’s such an amazing lover” – he’s _such an idiot_ ’ she laughed and she shook her head slightly.

‘That’s _disgusting_ ’ Clarke muttered under her breath. _Who the hell used their soulmark as some cheap seducing technique to get laid?_

Octavia was about to say something, but they got interrupted by Jasper Jordan whose break was starting, which meant that Clarke and Octavia had to get back to work.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke was waiting for Bellamy at Professor Kane’s office for their weekly meeting, but Marcus showed up before Bellamy did, so he let the two of them into his office.

‘How’ve you been, Clarke?’ he asked when they both sat down, Marcus behind his desk and Clarke in one of the visitor chairs.

‘I’ve been doing well’ Clarke answered with a smile. ‘Classes are keeping me busy, but I enjoy them all, so it’s not really a problem. And I really like my job at the restaurant. I get to eat free Italian food and the tips are great’

Marcus smiled. ‘I’m glad to hear so. But you’re having fun as well, right? These are your college years after all’

‘Have you been talking to my dad again?’ she asked, somewhat amused.

Marcus chuckled, looking a little guilty. ‘He’s just worried that you worry too much’

‘That sounds a little hypocritical’ Clarke exclaimed, joking. She was happy to hear from someone else that her dad still cared about her wellbeing and if she was living her college life to the fullest. After her mother’s death, it had sometimes looked like he didn’t care anymore. It was nice to be proven wrong, even if she knew, deep down, that he did.

They were joined by Bellamy, who came in apologising for being late, even if it was only three minutes. Clarke rolled her eyes, suddenly very annoyed, and got a copy of his essay – obviously covered in many, _many_ , notes – out of her bag. She was oh so ready and prepared for the next yelling match.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke had always loved Halloween. As a child she always went trick or treating with Wells and as teens they always did something scary, like going to an epic haunted house or watch Japanese horror movies. But the best part, of course, was dressing up. Every year Clarke tried to go as something terrifying, like Frankenstein’s bride, a demon child or as someone decaying. This year however, Clarke didn’t have the time to do something that time-consuming and had to settle for being a slutty police officer. It was a little too average for Clarke’s taste, but it was all the store had left. She counted her blessings though, because it showed off her legs and was long-sleeved.

Wells was going as a vampire and Monty was doing a couples costume with Miller (Monty was going as an angel, Miller as a devil) and together they arrived at the frat house that was throwing the Halloween bash. Raven had texted that she and Gina were already there, so Clarke and Wells hoped to find them at the keg.

A couple of drinks in, Clarke left Wells on the dancefloor (his awesome dance moves had gained him a very cute dance partner, so Clarke was confident enough that she wouldn’t be missed) to take a bathroom break. She passed Monty and Miller on her way to the toilet, but they didn’t notice her. They were in their own private bubble, laughing and kissing and sending each other hearteyes. It was so cute, it made Clarke want to squeal. The need to squeal was definitely proof that the alcohol she’d consumed was doing its job, because Clarke could never be described as the type who wanted to squeal.

When she’d emptied her bladder, she checked her cell and saw that she received a couple of texts from Octavia. Octavia was very upset, because she had to work at the restaurant that night, but had made Clarke promise to send her a picture of the costume she was wearing, to dull her misery (Octavia's words, not Clarke’s). Wells had been kind enough to take a picture of Clarke right before they left, and she’d send it to Octavia with a couple of selfies of her at the party with her friends. 

 **Octavia 10:37pm:** _Just got home from work, it was brutal._

_Apparently Halloween is also the night that people need Italian food like oxygen or something??? WTF…  I’m exhausted.._

_You look even hotter than the lasagne I had, damn girl!!!_ ❤️❤️

 _Awww!!! Mill & Monty look sooo cute _❤️❤️❤️❤️

 **10:38pm:** _That girl in the zombie make-up looks fucking terrifying._

_I want to marry her._

_But she’s with the cute Tinkerbell, isn’t she?_

_Is the vampire your friend Wells?_

**10:39pm:** _Great fake blood!_ ❤️❤️❤️❤️

_Or is it real? Would be cool too._

 

 **YOU 11:57pm:** _Sorry work sucked, party’s great !_

_Thanks, I made out with a hot Supergirl, so I have to look hotter than your lasagne :D_

_Bet he didn’t get much action tonight besides getting eaten by you.._

_Yes, M &M r so cute, I want to throw up._

_That could also b the beers._

**11:58pm:** _No, it’s their cuteness. It’s never the beers_

_That’s Raven and the cute Tinkerbell is her soulmate, so I don’t think you have to count on a wedding with her.. Sorry_

_Yes Wells looks dope!_

_I do think it’s fake blood, but I’ll ask him just to be sure !_

**11:59pm:** _Y’know if you go to college, you can go to these kinds of parties all the time!! :D_

_We can even go TOGETHER!!!!_

 

 **Octavia 00:01am:** _You sound like Bell, he said that 2…_

 

 **YOU 00:01am:** _OK, then I take it back. I don’t want to say the same stuff as your lame bro_

 

 **Octavia 00:01:** _He’s pretty lame. I’m like a 100000% sure I got all of the cool genes_

_No, jk, he’s not as awesome as I am, but hes OK_

 

 **YOU 00:02am:** _No 1 can deny that he_ ❤️ _you very much_

 

 **Octavia 00:02:** _ik. Im going 2 sleep now._

_Have fun at the party, b crazy !!_

_Talk to you at work, want all of the deets then!!_

 

 **YOU 00:03am:** _Sleep tight baby Blake, cu at work xxx_

 

On her way to the keg – her bladder was empty now, so it had to be refilled again – Clarke ran into Raven and Gina who were playing a game of beer pong against two strangers. By the looks of it they were winning, so Clarke stayed and cheered her friends to victory, before taking their place with Wells. Their game didn’t last long. Wells and Clarke were inexperienced, so they both sucked. Them losing had already been expected by both, so they didn’t really care.

Wells told Clarke that he had to pee after the game, so she decided to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. She knew she would have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, but it didn’t need to be a killer one.

In the back of her mind Clarke knew she was being rude when she decided to open all of the kitchen cabinets in her search for a glass, but the alcohol coursing through her veins made sure it was an afterthought.

‘What are you doing?’ someone asked from behind her and made her startle.

‘Fuck’ she cursed. When she turned around, she found Bellamy, dressed as a Roman soldier, looking very amused. ‘Not that it’s any of your business’ she bit, ‘but I’m looking for a glass’ 

He walked over to a cabinet Clarke hadn’t opened yet and grabbed two glasses. ‘So, I owe you another apology’ he started when he walked over to the sink. His large hands turned on the tap and Clarke tried her hardest not to get effected by his close proximity or his half nakedness. He looked _way_ too hot in his costume and she hated that it did some questionable things to her insides. ‘For being an asshole – again’ he continued.

‘Yes, is this going to be a thing? You being an asshole and then apologising to me with a drink?’ her eyes flicked down at the glass of water he was filling, before sending him a glare. 

‘Well, I’m pretty much always an asshole, but I’m working on that’ he smirked. Clarke did her best not to let his beautiful face get to her and to keep her glare intact. ‘But I used you as a verbal punching bag and that wasn’t okay’ he continued, all seriousness now. ‘I shouldn’t have done it and I definitely shouldn’t have dragged your major down. I mean, I love Art History and I think it’s really cool you’re an AH student’

‘So, if you didn’t like Art History, it would’ve been fine to insult me like that?’

‘No, of course not’ he said, fierce, as he turned off the tap. ‘It was a low blow. I was trying to get to you’ he admitted and he handed her one of the glasses with water. He was saying some more stuff, but Clarke’s ears had stopped working. As she’d accepted the water, her eyes had landed on his arm and found a soulmark that was so familiar it had to be a lie.

_It couldn’t be._

But it was.

His soulmark was a perfect replica of the soulmark she called her own, the colourless cherry blossom that looked like it was drawn on their skin.

 _Fuck_.

 

Bellamy Blake was her soulmate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you leave me a comment or a kudos if you enjoyed :) Always makes me really happy :) 
> 
> I'm [fieldsofpoppyflowers](http://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, let's be friends! :) xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finished - finally! :D
> 
> I apologise for keeping you all in suspense for so long, but life threw me a curveball and this chapter was a difficult one. 
> 
> But I hope you'll like it and that you'll forgive me if I made any mistakes. xx

 

Clarke’s world had just been turned upside down.

The Gods only knew how, but she did it; her glass stayed in her hand and didn’t shatter in a million pieces on the floor. Major accomplishment right there.

‘Fuck’ she blurted out, eyes still on his arm, on _their_ soulmark.

‘Something the matter?’ Bellamy asked, but she ignored him and walked out of the kitchen. She bumped into Wells in the hallway and he immediately knew something was wrong. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost’ he said.

‘I—I—You need to get me out of here now. Now’ she said, still in shock. Wells took her by her arm, after wiggling the glass out of her hand – she didn’t even realise she was still holding it – and walked her out of the house. 

‘Clarke? What’s wrong? Did someone put something in your drink?’ Clarke could hear how worried Wells was, even though she was stuck in a lonesome bubble filled with shock and disbelief. She felt like she was about to drown in her shock. _This isn’t real, this isn’t real.. This is not happening.._

‘You said I would be ready when it happened. That it would be perfect’ Clarke said after a moment, when she returned to the here and now. ‘You said I’d be ready!’ she yelled and Wells just looked at her, because he knew exactly what she was talking about.

‘Holy cow’ he muttered.

Clarke hid her face in the palms of her shaking hands. ‘It’s _Bellamy Blake_ ’ she whispered.

‘Holy cow’ Wells repeated, even more surprised.

‘What do I do now?’ she asked, voice laced with fear. ‘I want to go home’

‘You don’t want to talk to him?’ Wells asked.

‘No!’ she said fierce. ‘He doesn’t know and I’m not ready for him to find out yet. Maybe not ever. I don’t even _like_ him, Wells’ she cried.

Wells pulled her in for a comforting hug and promised her she would. But he had also promised her that she’d find her soulmate when she was ready and that The Moment would be perfect, so she wasn’t sure if she should believe him now..

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Clarke woke up with a slight hangover and with Raven treating her on some coffee and a croissant.

‘I saw how you left the party yesterday’ Raven explained when Clarke gave her a questioning look.

‘So, is this how we’re going to cheer up each other when shit hits the van? I could live with that’ Clarke said while she stuffed herself with the delicious croissant.

Raven smiled. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Clarke took a sip of her coffee for courage and blurted it out, seeing no reason not to tell her friend. ‘I found my soulmate’

‘Jesus fucking Christ, babe!’ Raven’s eyes almost fell out of her eye sockets. ‘The one of the colourless cherry blossom?’

‘Yes, the one of the only mark I have’ Clarke tried to joke, but it was a weak attempt.

Raven just stared at her for a moment. ‘Well, that’s a lot sooner than you hoped it would be’

‘You can say that again’ she agreed.

‘Guy or girl?’ Raven questioned.

‘Guy’

‘Does he know?’ Raven asked, before she tilted her head. ‘How did you find out?’

‘He handed me a glass of water, and no, he doesn’t know..’

‘When are you going to tell him?’

‘I haven’t figured that one out yet… I’m not exactly thrilled this happened _now_ ’ she took another sip of her coffee and enjoyed the feeling of the warm liquid gliding down her throat, before she grumbled, ‘Or that it’s _him_..’

Raven tried to figure out what Clarke meant for a second, before realisation dawned on her and she started laughing. ‘Don’t tell me that it’s Bellamy fucking Blake’

Clarke only silently stared at her roommate, because it _was_ Bellamy, and the silent confirmation Raven asked for was way better than saying the words out loud. She would’ve never in a million years imagined that the words “Bellamy Blake” and “is my soulmate” would have to be put together in a sentence by herself, but there she was – and it would never be someone else’s name..

‘You know he’s friends with Gina, right?’ Raven asked when she was done laughing hysterically, as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

‘I do, but I don’t know what that has to do with anything’

‘They actually even _dated_ a couple of years ago’

‘Really?’ Clarke asked surprised; she hadn’t seen that one coming.

‘So, there must be more to him than his overall grumpiness and cockiness’

‘I hope to the Gods there is..’ she said annoyed, chipping the lilac nail polish off her nails. ‘Or maybe it were only his looks that made Gina date him..’

Raven grinned amused. ‘If that was the case – at least you’ll have beautiful curly haired babies’

Clarke groaned loudly. ‘Oh my Gods, shut up’

 

♡♡

 

Where Clarke was sulking over having found her soulmate, Wells was overexcited.

‘I can’t believe you found your soulmate’ he said, positively grinning, a ray of sunshine, when he dropped by later in the afternoon.

‘ _Sshhh_ , the walls have ears’ Clarke grumbled, hoping he would drop the subject, even though she knew he wouldn’t.

‘You’re so lucky Clarkey, I wish I would’ve already found mine’

Clarke gave him a smile. ‘You will. And that person is going to be insanely lucky. _Way_ luckier than you think I am now..’ she glared at her lap and crossed her arms.  

Her bad mood did nothing to temper Wells’ good one. ‘You _are_ lucky, Clarke. He’s your soulmate; the soul that will love you endlessly and unconditionally. The soul that will make you happier than anything will ever make you, and you found him _now_ – not when you’re fifty or when you’re old and grey or when life’s already passed you by. You found him before you were even twenty; that’s freaking amazing’

Clarke momentarily felt guilty about being so ungrateful for finding the supposed love of her life, because she knew Wells had been waiting for that moment to arrive ever since he learned what soulmarks were. He’d waited for that to happen since he was four years old, with baited breath, and all Clarke did after finding her soulmate was hide under her covers. ‘Can we please talk about something else?’ Clarke eventually asked, as the coward she apparently was.

‘Sure’ Wells smiled mischievously. ‘What do you want to do for your birthday?’

Clarke gave him a pointed glare. ‘Nothing, as you’re well aware of’

‘That won’t do; you only turn 19 once, Clarke’

‘Yes, but after that I’ll be 19 for 364 more days, so it’s really not _that_ special. And besides, we celebrated it last year’

Wells rolled his eyes at her. ‘You really don’t want to do anything?’

‘No, I’m fine, really. You know it’s always painful for me to celebrate my birthday when my mom’s anniversary is only a week before that..’ Clarke explained. ‘And I’ve only got you and Raven and Monty to celebrate it with, and I don’t want to force them into celebrating; we haven’t known them for that long..’

‘I’m sure they’d love to, though’ Wells pointed out.

‘I’m sure they would’ she agreed, giving him a small smile. ‘But I still don’t feel like it this year..’

‘And you could always invite Bellamy’ Wells said teasingly.

‘Funny..’

‘And Octavia’

‘The better Blake. Maybe next year’

‘Whatever you want, Clarkey. It’s your party’ Wells smiled kindly, and Clarke returned his smile, grateful he respected her wishes.

 

* * *

 

 

On the anniversary of her mother’s death, Clarke called her father and they talked for a while. They talked about Abby, Clarke’s classes, Jake’s swimming team and Donald and Daisy.

Her father asked if Clarke had any plans for her upcoming birthday, and Clarke told him she was going to celebrate with Wells (they were; Wells had convinced her to celebrate by eating some cake together at a local café) and that she was looking forward to celebrating with Jake the next time she was back home.

Clarke didn’t tell her dad about finding her soulmate; it still felt surreal and she didn’t know how the news would affect him. She didn’t want to take the chance, especially not since it was Abby’s death anniversary.

And Clarke wasn’t ready for it to be true either, so she kept it to herself. Clarke and her father talked a little more, before they said goodbye and ended the call.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s 19th birthday was quite a normal day, but it became one she would remember forever because of one special moment.

It wasn’t because Raven had bought her a “birthday coffee and scone” (as the brunette called it herself), or because her father had send her dark pearl earrings as a birthday gift, or because she and Wells ate one hell of a Red Velvet cake at a café during lunch – although, that was all awesome and greatly appreciated. But, it was _Bellamy_ who made her remember that day for years to come.

Clarke didn’t exactly know _how_ Bellamy knew it was her birthday, she suspected Octavia had something to do with it, but he did, and he surprised her with a gift when she got back to her dorm room.

Clarke was about to relax after a day of classes and sketch a bit, when a knock on her door disturbed her peace and quiet. When she found Bellamy on the other side of the door, her heart sped up in a panic. The first thought that crossed her mind was that _he knew_. Either he figured it out after her weird exit at the party or someone must’ve spilled the beans.

Her second thought was that it was because of something related to their shared tutorial class, even if it would make more sense that he would just email her about that.

It hadn’t occurred to Clarke that Bellamy was there to congratulate her on her birthday. Why would it? They were classmates, partners on Professor Kane’s project – nothing more, even if they did in fact share a mark. So, it was more than a little surprise when he wished her a happy birthday and gave her a gift.

‘It’s “Lady Susan”, Jane Austen’s novella’ he told her, a little sheepishly and he gave her a nervous smile. ‘I work at a bookstore downtown and I thought you might like it – well, I _hoped_ , really.. And that you haven’t read it yet, or that you have, but liked it enough to give it another read. If you don’t like it, it’s okay, I’ll just take it with me again’ he rambled, and he scratched the back of his neck, obviously agitated. 

‘No, I haven’t read it yet, but I always wanted to. Thank you, Bellamy’ Clarke said calmly, still confused as to _why_ he was giving her a birthday gift, but strangely feeling like she wanted him to feel at ease around her. She even gave him a smile, one he joyfully returned.

Bellamy nodded. ‘Good’ he was still smiling, before he grimaced. ‘I really am sorry about everything, Clarke. And I’d like to be friends, if I haven’t screwed that chance up too much’

Clarke was taking aback by his question, it had come as a surprise to her, so she took a moment to figure out if he was serious. When she concluded he was, she responded with, ‘Well, I guess there’s no harm in trying’

Bellamy let out a shy chuckle. ‘That’s what all of my friends said, right before I swept them off their feet with my awesomeness’ he winked, again as smooth as ever.

Clarke rolled her eyes, amused. ‘We’ll see about that, Blake. But thank you for the book, really’

‘No problem. Happy birthday, Princess’ he said again, before he left.

It became a birthday Clarke would never forget, because not only was it the first birthday her soulmate had given her a gift (and Bellamy had knocked it out of the park; she absolutely loved the novel), but because it was the first day of their lifelong friendship.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Clarke saw Bellamy outside of their meetings with Professor Kane was a week later in the library. She was working on her last paper of Marcus’ poetry assignment, one of the three papers she had to finish before Thanksgiving break, when he asked if he could sit with her.

‘Yes, but on Wednesdays we wear pink’ she joked.

Bellamy smiled. ‘Good to know’ He sat down and laid his books in front of him, before getting to work.

Ever since finding out, Clarke got nervous when she was around Bellamy. She checked if her mark was still covered, which it was with a sleeve, and she couldn’t help glancing over at Bellamy’s arm. He was wearing a sweater as well, effectively hiding his soulmark.

Clarke knew she had to tell Bellamy that they shared a mark; it was the right thing to do. It would be horrible if he accidently saw her cherry blossom and learned that she already knew they were soulmates. Or if he found out through someone else…

But Clarke just wasn’t ready. It wasn’t just because she barely knew Bellamy and 90 percent of the time she had spent with him they’d been fighting, or that she was afraid what the news of her finding her soulmate would do to her father.

Clarke had been through a lot the last couple of years, and she felt like she finally was in a good, quiet place; she didn’t want something major and life changing disturbing her new normal. Not yet, anyway. And finding her soulmate, and possibly starting something with him, was definitely life changing; there was no going back to before.

So, Clarke decided to tell Bellamy when they would know each other better and she was ready to begin something with him.

‘I finished “Lady Susan” by the way’ Clarke said, after they had been studying in silence for a while. ‘It was amazing – thanks again’

Bellamy gave her a smile, one that did something nice to his eyes. ‘You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it, although you can’t really go wrong with Jane Austen’

‘You read her work?’ Clarke asked, pleasantly surprised.

‘Yes, “Pride and Prejudice” and “Emma”. “Emma” for school and “Pride and Prejudice” because it’s one of the most famous literary works of all time and because I was impressed with “Emma”’ Bellamy explained.

‘Two of my favourites’ Clarke agreed, strangely happy that he liked those novels; although, a little voice inside of her said, she shouldn’t be surprised he did.

The conversation changed into the subject of other books and authors they enjoyed, and Clarke learned that next to “Harry Potter”, Bellamy loved “The Iliad”, “The Odyssey” and Shakespeare’s works. Clarke in turn, shared that she loved the “Percy Jackson” series, “Wuthering Heights” and Agatha Christie.

Just like the first time Clarke and Bellamy had a pleasant conversation, at the bar a couple of days before the Halloween party, she was surprised that talking and laughing with Bellamy seemed so easy, so _natural_ ; even if she now knew _why_ that was.

Their conversation easily flowed into their plans for Thanksgiving. Clarke and Wells were going back home for break, and Bellamy was working, and celebrating with Octavia, Monty and Nate by making too much food and binge watching whatever they could find on Netflix.

‘And isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?’ Clarke smiled. ‘Doing nothing but eat with the people you love – it’s the best thing in life’

‘You took the words out of my mouth’ Bellamy agreed. ‘We always have a ton of fun before we pass out into a food coma’

Clarke chuckled and checked her cell to see what time it was. She had to work that night and talking with Bellamy had made her forget the time. ‘I have to go’ she said when she saw she had to be at work in less than an hour. ‘I have a shift at Venice’s Canals tonight’

‘ _Oh_ , okay – I guess I’ll see you Wednesday’

‘Yes. I’ll send you my paper tomorrow’ Clarke said as she got ready to leave, before she gave him a small wave and left, feeling a little disappointment that she had to go.

 

* * *

 

 

 **UNKNOWN NUMBER 8:03pm:** _Hope you don’t mind that I asked O for your number_

_Thought it could be useful for quizzing each other, now we’ll miss trivia night this week_

_I’m still planning on winning from you fair and square and I don’t want you to be off your game by next time_

_This is Bellamy in case it wasn’t clear_

 

 **YOU 8:05pm:** _No, it wasn’t_

_You have no idea how many people O has given my number to and how many trivia related texts I got from them…._

_It’s insane – you wouldn’t believe it! ;)_

_Even if I’m off my game next time, you’re still no match for me ;)_

**YOU 8:07pm:** _And no, I don’t mind_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 8:27pm:** _Prove it_

_How many bones are there in the human body?_

 

 **YOU 8:28pm:** _C’mon, give me a hard one._

_206_

_Your turn: what planet in our solar system has the longest day?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 8:30pm:** _Really Princess?_

_Venus, ofc_

_Which country has the most volcanoes?_

 

 **YOU 8:34pm:** _China_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 8:36pm:** _No, Indonesia_

_I guess this means I’m officially the Trivia Champ and every game until my last breath will be a cat in the bag :D_

 

 **YOU 8:37pm:** _No, that doesn’t mean that at all_

_And I was distracted because I’m packing_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 8:38pm:** _Leaving tomorrow?_

 

 **YOU 8:38pm:** _Yes (:_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 8:39pm:** _Safe flight, Princess_

_O says hi_

 

 **YOU 8:39pm:** _Thank you_

_Tell her hi back from me_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 8:40pm:** _Will do (:_

 

* * *

 

 

‘I found my soulmate’ Clarke blurted out.

It was the morning after her arrival and she and Jake had just woken up. She was sitting on the cold tiles of the kitchen floor, playing with Donald and Daisy, while her father was making them some breakfast.

Clarke hadn’t been planning on telling her dad, but he seemed to be doing really great and she didn’t want to keep it a secret for him any longer. Having this secret was eating her alive, and she wanted to have her father’s advice. She also preferred telling him face to face, instead of over the phone.

Jake immediately stopped stirring the pancake mix and looked up at her. First his features were drenched in shock, before joy washed that all away. ‘Honey, that’s amazing!’ Jake left the pancake mix for what it was and made his way over to her. ‘Congratulations’ he said as he wrapped his arms around her.

Clarke told her dad the story of how she found out and that Bellamy didn’t know yet, as the both of them sat down on the floor again. She told him about the time she had spent with Bellamy, the fights, the making-up, the trivia nights, the tutorial class, how they were now becoming friends, that his sister was a colleague of hers.

She told Jake about the texts, the birthday present Bellamy got her, his annoying nickname for her, that he was a History major, that Bellamy’s favourite colour was the type of pink in sunsets, and that he loved everything with melted cheese. That she actually really liked the guy if he wasn’t a judgemental asshole, but that she wasn’t sure she was ready for the type of love the Gods had gifted her with and the commitment it brought.

‘But it’s not all about you, honey’ her father had said, with a kind smile, when she was done talking. ‘You’re two halves of the same whole; you’re not the only piece in the puzzle. You’re afraid that you’re not ready, but maybe Bellamy is. Or maybe he really needs you right now and that’s why your paths have crossed’

‘I never really thought about it like that’ she admitted. Clarke’s cheeks reddened in shame. She couldn’t believe how selfish she had been; she’d never stopped to think for a second if Bellamy was ready or not. ‘I was so wrapped up in my own head, I hadn’t considered what meeting his soulmate would mean to Bellamy..’

‘I’m sure he’ll forgive you, he doesn’t sound like such a bad guy’ Jake said. ‘And he sounds exactly right for you, if I’m honest. Stubborn, passionate, tough – exactly what you are and what you need in your soulmate. I’m sure Bellamy has his own qualities as well, ones that will compliment yours. And of course there will be disagreements, like you’ve already learned, but you’ll make up, because you love each other, and support and accept the other. That’s what being soulmates really means, but you’ll learn that one on your own soon enough’

Donald was sleeping soundly in Clarke’s arms, while she stroked his soft and cute head. ‘Thanks dad’ Clarke said. Her father had given her a lot to think about, and a new perspective. ‘I really appreciate it’

‘You’re welcome, pumpkin; always’ he smiled, and he kissed her brow. ‘Now – blueberry or chocolate chip?’ he asked, as he went back to the stove.

‘Both’ Clarke grinned.

 

* * *

 

 

 **YOU 1:03pm:** _What is a flock of crows called?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 1:05pm:** _A murder_

_How many humps has the Arabian camel?_

 

 **YOU 1:06pm:** _1_

_That all you got, Blake?_

_Who said: let them eat cake?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 1:07pm:** _Marie Antoinette_

_BUT THAT’S NOT HISTORICALLY CORRECT!!!!_

_PEOPLE DON’T KNOW IF SHE ACTUALLY SAID THAT OR NOT!!!_

_Great, now I’m all upset because you threw all these historical inaccuracies in my face_

_Thanks for ruining Thanksgiving, Princess_

 

 **YOU 1:09pm:** _I’m rolling my eyes at you, you big nerd_

_How’s the turkey doing?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 1:10pm:** _Cooking slowly, but steady_

_O’s making the mashed potatoes and she hasn’t burned the place down yet_

_So all’s great here_

_How’re things at your place?_

 

 **YOU 1:11pm:** _The same_

_Wells and his dad are coming over in a bit_

_Wells and I have this long-time tradition that we make a pie together_

_This year it will be a raspberry lemon_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 1:12pm:** _Raspberry lemon?_

_Shame on you guys! It’s Thanksgiving, you’re supposed to make a pumpkin pie_

_Or apple, at least_

 

 **YOU 1:13pm:** _What can I say?_

_I like being a rebel_

_And pies_

_I like pies_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 1:14pm:** _Good, otherwise we could’ve never become friends_

 

 **YOU 1:14pm:** _Crisis averted_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 1:15pm:** _(:_

_Happy Thanksgiving, Princess_

 

 **YOU 1:16pm:** _Happy Thanksgiving, Nerd_

 

* * *

 

 

 **Bellamy Blake 3:39pm:** _What is the 3 rd most abundant gas in Earth’s atmosphere? _

**YOU 3:46pm:** _Argon_

_Who led the first expedition to sail around the world?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 3:50pm:** _Magellan_

_Which country has the longest land border?_

 

 **YOU 3:51pm:** _Well, this time it is China_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 3:51pm:** _And this time you’re correct_

_How was your Thanksgiving?_

 

 **YOU 3:52pm:** _Fun_

_Food was great, we played some games, watched a movie_

_We said our thanks_

_Wells and I went to the beach_

_Yours?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 3:53pm:** _Went into the predicted food coma at around 8_

_Binge watched Stranger Things_

_Even won a game of poker_

_It was a good Thanksgiving_

 

 **YOU 3:54pm:** _Glad to hear you succeeded in your plans, and more_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 3:55pm:** _That’s me – the overachiever_

 

 **YOU 4:16pm:** _BTW, I’m coming home the day after tomorrow_

_Do you have some time to catch up next week?_

 

 **Bellamy Blake 4:18pm:** _Yeah, sure_

_I do have to work this week, but just text me when it’s good for you and I’ll see if it’ll work for me as well_

 

 **YOU 4:19pm:** _Sounds great (:_

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke spend the rest of her break hanging out around the house. She watched some TV, painted a little, played with the cats and hung out with her dad. Jake did have to work (he’d gotten a new job at a start-up company), but the two of them made sure that they had a little father-daughter time at the end of the day.

Before Clarke knew it, her break was over and she was back at Arcennes University.

She had decided to tell Bellamy that they were soulmates. Not only did he deserve to know, it was his right and she was sure they could work something out. Maybe they could take things slow, or not start anything yet at all; but that was a decision she had to make with Bellamy, not on her own.

All she knew was that she didn’t want to keep it to herself any longer.

Her dad was proud of her for not letting her fear control her decisions any longer, and for thinking of her soulmate and not just of herself.

Wells was excited. He was positive everything was going to go great and be all sunshine and rainbows. His positivity made her even more nervous.

Raven was surprised, but supportive.  

Monty didn’t know anything about her mark or about her sharing one with Bellamy, and Clarke was going to keep it that way. The next person who was going to find out was Bellamy himself.

So, when Clarke and Monty met for a coffee after break to catch up, they only talked about their Thanksgivings. ‘My parents were disappointed that I didn’t come home, but they understood I wanted to stay here with Nate’ Monty told her, while Clarke nipped her latte. ‘I promised them we’d come over at Christmas’

‘Yeah, Bellamy told me you were celebrating with the four of you’ Clarke said.

Monty nodded in response. ‘Nate lives with the Blake’s, above the bar, so it made more sense I’d come to him, and spend Thanksgiving with our own little made-up family’

‘I didn’t know Miller lived with Bellamy and Octavia’ Clarke commented, surprised.

‘Yes, for a couple of years now. When Nate and Bellamy were 18, the Blakes lost their mother. Bellamy got custody of Octavia and they moved into the apartment. Nate moved in with them to help out with the rent and stuff’

‘Wow, that’s amazing of both guys..’ Clarke said impressed, after a beat. ‘I had no idea..’

‘Yes, Nate’s an amazing guy’ Monty smiled, radiating pride and adoration for his soulmate. ‘And I know you and Bellamy had your issues, but he’s more than meets his grumpy exterior. He’s a fantastic cook, for example. I’m sure I gained at least six pounds after the Thanksgiving meal he made for us’ he chuckled, and Clarke joined him.

‘Well, don’t worry – it doesn’t show’ she winked.

Monty’s little backstory of Bellamy had made Clarke realise there was so much she didn’t know about Bellamy; a whole bunch of great things and his past in its entirety. The first time they met, Bellamy angrily told her that she had no idea what he’d done to get into Arcennes U, and he was right.

What she did know, was that everyone who both knew her and Bellamy spoke highly of him, and cared a lot about him.

Sure, Octavia had complained a lot about the guy, but she was his _sister_ ; that wasn’t something very odd. It was obvious that behind all of her complaints, she loved her brother a lot, and would go to hell and back for him.

Bellamy was Miller’s best friend, and Miller had even _moved in_ with the Blakes to help his friend out; if that didn’t show how loyal those guys were to each other or how much they valued their friendship, Clarke didn’t know what would.

Monty had never spoken a bad word about Bellamy, but even if that was just who Monty was, he genuinely seemed to like Bellamy and Clarke trusted her friend’s judgement.

And even Gina, Raven’s soulmate, who was witty, kind, forgiving, and had Raven wrapped around her finger, had _dated_ Bellamy. If someone as awesome as Gina had been happy with Bellamy, even if it only had been for a little while, then maybe, he wasn’t such an awful guy. Even after their break up, they were still friends – that said something about the both of them.

Clarke believed that how your loved ones acted around you and how they spoke about you to others, said a lot about who you were as a person. Octavia, Miller, Monty and Gina all loved Bellamy (all in different ways and amount, but still) and had his back.

Clarke was going to tell Bellamy, they were really going to get to know each other, and maybe he was brave enough for the both of them.

 

* * *

 

 

‘You never told me how your raspberry lemon pie turned out’ Bellamy smiled, but Clarke could see he was a little nervous. He’d wiped his hands of his jeans when he sat down on the bench next to her, his smile was a little forced, and his knee was bumping up and down.  

Not that Clarke didn’t understand why he felt that way. She did text him to come and meet her today at the park, so they _could talk_. It was strange, to say the least.

‘It was absolutely delicious’ Clarke grinned. ‘Everyone that didn’t have Wells and my pie missed out immensely’

‘Everyone in the entire world?’ Bellamy asked, feigning disbelieve and shock, making Clarke chuckle.

‘The entire world’ she confirmed with a wink, before starting the conversation she was planning on having with him. ‘Listen, I wanted to talk with you about what happened at the Halloween party’

‘About why you freaked out and left?’ he asked, not judgemental, but surprised by the subject, and maybe a little curious.

‘…Yes’ she sighed. Clarke put her hands in her pockets, before continuing. She’d forgotten her gloves and since it was now officially December, it was really cold outside. Her hands were now paying the price for her forgetfulness by turning blue. ‘It was because I saw your soulmark’ she admitted, after a moment when she’d found the courage.

‘ _Ah_ ’ Bellamy exclaimed, thinking he understood what she was trying to say. ‘Because it’s a flower or because it’s colourless?’ he smirked.

‘Because it looks exactly like mine’

Bellamy’s smirk dropped off his face and his knee halted his movements. Bellamy was so shocked by her confession, that Clarke wasn’t sure if he was still breathing. ‘ _What_?’ he muttered, after a long moment where he only stared at her in absolute shock and probably had been waiting for the expected punch line. But there wasn’t one.

Instead of repeating her earlier statement, Clarke unzipped her coat, pulled out her arm and rolled the sleeve of her cardigan down. There she showed Bellamy her soulmark for the first time, on a park bench on a cold December afternoon. Clarke’s black with grey cherry blossom stood proudly against her pale skin, and shimmered like a diamond when it was touched by the light of the fading sun.

Bellamy gasped when he saw her, _their_ , soulmark for the first time. ‘Oh my Gods, oh my Gods’ he muttered, unable to avert her gaze from her arm.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately, at the party’ Clarke started, and that’s what got his attention.

‘Why didn’t you?’ he asked. Bellamy wasn’t angry or upset, but confused and still in shock. Clarke was getting cold, so she put her coat back on, before explaining herself.

Clarke told Bellamy all the reasons she had for wanting to keep it to herself those last couple of weeks. His attitude towards her, her concern for her father (without delving into the subject of Jake’s alcoholism; they hadn’t reached that level of trust yet), that she was scared.

Bellamy’s ears turned red when Clarke addressed the fights they’d had and he immediately looked uncomfortable. He apologised again when she finished her story. ‘Gods, I can’t believe the first meeting I had with my soulmate ended in me insulting her enough for her to throw her drink in my face..’ he grumbled, eyes closed in shame. ‘I was _verbally abusive_ – I’m so, _so_ , sorry, Clarke..’

‘It didn’t really help your case’ she said drily, before bumping her shoulder into his. ‘All water under the bridge, now’ she promised him, with a smile.

‘Yeah?’ he smiled cheekily, and when she nodded, he asked, ‘How do you feel about already meeting your soulmate now?’

Clarke let out a sigh and averted her gaze. She took a moment to come up with the words she wanted to say. ‘More ready, I guess. I’m just— I hate it that we never had a choice – that this is what was supposed to happen. I wanted to choose my own destiny’

‘You still can’ he told her, voice kind and patient. ‘Your destiny is still yours; you can still shape it and choose the road that will lead you towards it. What you want to study, who you want to befriend, the places you want to visit’

‘I guess that’s true’ she agreed.

‘You can also choose if you want to be with your soulmate or not. If you—if you choose that you don’t want to be with me, now or ever, I won’t stop you. Not if that makes you happier’ his voice trembled a bit, and Clarke could see in his eyes that he was scared. Bellamy was afraid she wouldn’t want him, ever, and that she was going to take him up on his offer. He was scared of not getting what he got promised, what he wanted so badly: true love.

Her father had been right, Bellamy needed her.

‘No, I think I’m going to keep you’ she teased, and Bellamy visibly relaxed and let out a chuckle. ‘I thought about it; I want to get to know you, the _real_ you. To see if I could actually love you, even if we didn’t share a mark’

Bellamy understood and his lips curled in a relieved and sweet smile. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. If you’ll have me, that is’ Clarke wanted him to have the same choice he’d given her; it seemed fair.

‘I’ve waited my whole life for you, Clarke Griffin’

Clarke laughed and rolled her eyes at him. ‘Yeah, sure’

‘Well, it does feel like that’ he admitted, and Clarke could feel herself starting to blush. ‘I’ll prove to you I’m worthy, Princess’

‘I believe you’ Clarke responded without missing a beat, because she did, wholeheartedly. And it wasn’t just because of the earnest look in his eyes, or because of the magnetic pull she felt towards him: it was something else, something magical.

‘Do you want to grab some dinner? Or a coffee? My ass is freezing off on this bench..’ he complained.

‘Are you asking me out on a date?’ she smiled, amused, when he shifted his ass around on the bench.

‘It could be, if you wanted it to. It could also just be a friend date’ he answered, his brown eyes shining brightly. ‘Whatever that gets me out of this cold’ he laughed, and the sound made Clarke’s heart skip a beat.

Bellamy’s eyes and the pull she felt towards him made Clarke forget why she wanted to take things slow again. At that moment she only wanted to share body heat with him, while they laid against each other in his bed, pressed tightly against each other. ‘It is cold’ she agreed. ‘And I’m hungry’

Bellamy smiled, delightedly. ‘I know a place’

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t long before Clarke understood why Bellamy was her soulmate or why their soulmark was so unique. It wasn’t long before Bellamy was her best friend, Clarke fell head over heels in love with him or when he became her _everything_.

Yes, he was still an asshole. But he was _her_ asshole.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like oxygen, so if you enjoyed it, please let me know :) 
> 
> Btw, how would you feel about more in this 'verse? 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr, I'm [fieldsofpoppyflowers](http://fieldsofpoppyflowers.tumblr.com/) :) xx


End file.
